I see you. I know you are out there. I think about you. And I care. A lot. You are the mom whose child has a diagnosis, but no one knows. You are the mom whose child does not have a diagnosis, but you know he or she could have one. You are the mom with a child who is different, quirky, has unique struggles, but yet has no diagnosis. You are the mom who is too afraid to seek Continue Reading
When Mom Has a Hangover
Ouch. Oh no. Please don’t make me get up. Wow, why does my head feel like it was hit by a truck and put back together by toddlers with chubby fingers? And just why? Why do I do these things? Whyyyyyyyyyyyy???????? It’s so painful. The PAIN IN MY HEART is the worst. When you know that you have blown it “as a mom” (because you don’t ever blow it in other arenas…), it Continue Reading
A Beautiful Collision
My daughter, a budding writer who likes to read my blog, keeps reminding me that I have not written a blog post since late June. “Mooooooom! That’s like 4 months ago! When are you going to do another blog post?!” Summer, for one, is/was a difficult time to think my own thoughts and write blog posts. I surrendered a bit to the abyss of kids and running around and trying to “relax” more, Continue Reading
I Give, You Give
Recently, my caseworker asked me to make a list of all the things I do for Ryan. Daily, weekly, appointments, driving, etc. ALL. OF. IT. And the list is long. And he is 14 years old. Today!! As I wrote and reviewed the list, asked hubby and our beloved behaviorist/sitter to give input, well, it made me kind of sad. Sad to see it all there in black and white. His incredible DEPENDENCE, and Continue Reading
A Birth & A Blink
I was FINE FINE FINE until the slideshow began. And then the famous Pomp and Circumstance music started rolling and my lips started quivering. All the 5th graders marched into the MPR, all dressed up with their homemade-Pinterest-worthy mortarboard graduation hats on heads, purple leis around their necks. Shining bright. And I kept smiling on the outside with my bright lipstick smile but Continue Reading
Dear Mom
Dear Mom, No one warned me when I was pregnant—that I may be a mother…without my mother. It’s not anything I began to imagine amidst my growing belly, baby showers, and nesting a nursery. I was barely into motherhood when I lost you to your lung cancer. All those decades of smoking. You were diagnosed and gone in the length of a summer. Our last summer. At the time I had my toddler, Continue Reading
I Always Think About Those Moms
With Mothers’ Day approaching fast, my heart beats fast for THOSE moms. You know. THOSE moms. The ones who don’t really get a Mother's Day celebration. The ones who never-ever get a mommy break. They don’t even know what that means. The ones who live across the world and hide with their children so as not to be kidnapped, raped, or sold into sex slavery. The ones who live on the Continue Reading
A Mother’s Front Porch Prayer
THEY SAY IN THEY MAGAZINE THAT "RE-ENTRY IS A WITCH." (or other choice words) Re-entering family life and the reality of the day to day grind after time off or vacation can be difficult. For me, even after a night off with girlfriends, or a full day off from mothering, I can have re-entry issues. Because... I NEVER KNOW when I walk through the door what awaits me. This weekend Chris Continue Reading
To Share or Not to Share?
Privacy and self-protection lead to isolation. Transparency and honesty lead to connection, community, and love. Yet, it is not so black and white when you find out your child is different, or disabled, or diagnosed with SOMETHING. Do you tell others or do you not? When Ryan was first diagnosed with PWS at 5 weeks old, our knee-jerk reaction was to keep it to ourselves. Maybe tell Continue Reading
The Night We Told Ryan He Has Prader-Willi Syndrome
When is it the right time? At what age? At what cognitive level? Will he even understand? Will it make him more anxious? (Because EVERYTHING does.) Will he just perseverate on it and talk about it over and over and over? Or will it bring relief—as in “oh, now I understand why I talk about food all the time…” It was a Friday night in November. Luke, our oldest, was celebrating Continue Reading
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