Good Mothers have hot glue guns. They also have craft bins fully stocked with amazing supplies. Like a mini-version of a Michael’s store. Arts & crafts lessons abound, and art camp is held at their house every summer. They don’t care about messes and paint everywhere. They are focused on giving their children freedom to express themselves as they desire, and explore art in all its goodness and power and meaning. Martha Stewart is actually jealous of these good mothers.
Good Mothers cook a homemade meal every night for their family. And they LOVE doing so. All organic, non-GMO, locally sourced, gluten-free, natch. They cook with love and joy and eagerness to please their family’s palate, and to provide wholesome, healthy nutrition. It is not a chore they have to do, but one they GET TO DO.
Good Mothers make sure that most nights are Family Dinner Nights. Candles are lit. Everyone all together in peace and harmony. There is a cute jar on the table with thoughtful or funny questions for everyone to choose from and answer articulately. There is no complaining about the meal because it is always UH-mazing and delicious, as if Ina Garten cooked it herself.
Good Mothers never ever yell at their kids. They keep that zen-calm tone and don’t overreact with all the FEELINGS, all the BUTTONS pushed. They know to take deep breaths or separate for a moment to collect themselves. And they never raise their voices or scare their kids with a short fuse or slammed doors, or angry faces or snarky comments. They use Love & Logic parenting skills, and access what they have learned and use it well, with wisdom, and patience. The utmost patience, like an angel from up above.
Good Mothers don’t have a life outside of family life. They are 100% devoted to spouse and children. They do not have dreams, whims, jobs, girls’ trips, hobbies, or ANYTHING that takes away their singular focus on family life. They are wholly dedicateded to creating harmony and happiness within the home.
Good Mothers are frugal. They have a budget, and stay within that budget. They don’t spend on fluff. They don’t get mani/pedis or spend money pampering themselves. They clip coupons and always watch for sales and bargains everywhere. Their kids are excellent at saving and donating, and have learned the value of a dollar. These good mothers have set a fabulous example with money management.
Good Mothers pray for their kids every day. And may even PRAY WITH their kids every day, if they are extra-good-mothers. Their children memorize bible verses. They know their bible stories backwards and forwards and all the life applications they have to offer. Their children even have their own daily “quiet times” of prayer and meditation and study. Good mothers see to instilling this, of course, by their daily example.
These are the voices in my head. A little bit exaggerated, ok, but I think you get the point.
Actually these are all LIES. Big fat crappy LIES we tell ourselves.
I am sure there are PLENTY more black and white, stupid, false statements that you and I have rolling around fiercely in our minds. Things we tell ourselves. Things we think other mothers do. The Nasty Shoulds.
Why do we torture ourselves, fellow mamas???
We are all doing the very best we can with our kiddos, and with family life. Living in the ideals only brings you down and brings self-loathing. Perfectionism has no place in our minds, hearts, homes, and relationships. Comparison and competition only ROB you of what you ARE doing, that I AM SURE is full of love and care and purpose within the four walls of your sweet home.
Listening to these lies does not promote self-love or self-care. It only brings defeat and depression because you are constantly thinking you don’t measure up to The Perfect Moms of the World. THEY DON’T EXIST, remind yourself. Daily. I will, too. (Taking breaks from social media will help this, too, advice for us all to heed.)
We all make mistakes. We all have mommy-brain-moments, #mommyfailures. Some stories we share with friends, or social media, some we quietly take to our graves. You know, THOSE stories.
Nevertheless, amidst it all, we must remember, we LOVE LOVE LOVE our kids with infinite passion and without conditions. They know that.
WE ARE GOOD MOTHERS. WE ARE. WE ARE. WE ARE. WE ARE.