It was just 4 little words she said to me. That’s all.
I’m back at yoga.
Let’s all say a collective ahhhhhhh…
I used to think I was too hyper for yoga. I probably was. I think I was just un-blissfully ignorant of the benefits. Not just the stretching, strengthening, and balancing.
The breathing deep breaths.
The lying flat on my back and being perfectly still.
When does a mom sit still?????
It’s a gift. And I hope to get Kate hooked on it. My age-11-slice-of-Heaven-girl. She said she’s game.
I hadn’t been to PV Yoga & Fitness studio in about 4 months. My itchies made my skin so incredibly inflamed and so sensitive, it was like I was allergic to spandex and elastic. WHAT? No more constantly wandering around life in “active wear?” Uh, no.
Not to mention not being able to relax, be calm, and send worries out the door, while in class and “setting intentions.” My itchies had taken over.
BUT NO MORE. Today I returned to the studio for a beginner class called Soft & Slow. My favorite instructor there was teaching. Lisa, with the best yoga voice, cool, but soothing.
I entered, set up my mat and props and lay down on a bolster. Ahhh…I made it. I could feel my body opening up.
As Lisa spoke in her lovely zen voice, she walked through class, checking our form. She came over to me and adjusted me.
And whispered, “I missed you, Jessica.”
And her words went down into my soul. DOWN.
Tears quickly came up. Oh geez. Surprised by this, I choked them back. Silly me. Where’s that coming from?
She remembered me?
She remembered my name?
I was a newbie to the studio this year and had been going maybe 3 months before the itchies took over.
She remembered me?
Everyone longs to be noticed.
Everyone longs to be seen.
Everyone longs to be known.
Everyone longs to be desired and loved.
It’s a deep-to-the-soul-bone-and-marrow-deep need.
Motherhood can be isolating or insanely busy or both. Mothers do, do, and do, and go, go, and go, and worry, worry, worry. Sometimes inside, you wonder but don’t say out loud—do you see me?! Does anyone see me over here?
Do you notice me? Am I memorable? Or am I just a Sherpa, taxi driver, cook, nurse, teacher, maid, volunteer, wiper of all things everywhere?
Because we can be martyr moms who are “just fine,” just fine, all the time, we may not recognize the deep need. But it’s there. It’s truth.
I see you mamas—across the interwebs. You are amazing warriors.
You are kind.
You are smart.
You are indispensable.
You are there for your children, family, friends, community.
I see you.
Go tell someone else YOU SEE THEM, too.