We just complete a FIRST in the Patay Family. We had our very First Family Vacation Without Ryan. Without PWS. Without a schedule. Without a food schedule. Without 1000 questions per day. Without "what's next ?" and "what if...?" and all his bless-ed anxiety. And it was weird and surreal and calmer and easier, and yet not having him with us was a little palpable. We were Continue Reading
The Naked Mom
I am on this Motherhood journey. So are you. It’s a wilderness sometimes. It’s full of scary animals clawing at you. It is our own unchartered territory. And yet, it is also full of wonder and joy. As in seeing a child’s first experience of bubbles and puppies and oceans. We travel together and separate in our unique ways of mothering, loving, caring, giving, teaching, and protecting our Continue Reading
Pretty On The Outside But…
Don’t judge us by our Christmas card. We look pretty perfect. Like the quintessential all-American family. Don’t we? The only thing missing in the picture is our adorable, chocolate labradoodle, Gracie, with a Christmas bandana around her neck. It’s a great picture, if I do-so-narcissistically-say-so myself, as the mother in this photogenic crew. BUT... Just because I know how to Continue Reading
The Burn
Inhaler of newborn smells I’m going to burn up this year. My favorite Equinox instructor (and my friend), Rebecca, always tells us, when we are dying in her hard-core fitness classes, that the burn means that change is happening in our bodies. We want that burn. We need that burn. Even if we are screaming and whining like little girls on the inside. She always reminds us we can do it and Continue Reading
That Post Christmas Blah
Some years it hits me. Some years it does not. On December 26th. Or even sometimes RIGHT after the Christmas morning of fun and frenzy and children's delights are all over. Even though I don't believe in Santa Clause or any Christmas magic per se, I have realized my adult self still has this longing and expectation at Christmastime. That somehow a special fulfillment will arrive on Continue Reading
Cigarette Girl
It was summer. 1979. I just finished 3rdgrade with a wonderful teacher, Mrs. Finefield. I was nine. I wore the Rainbow Shirt. You know that shirt that had the rainbow splashed from left arm, across the chest and onto the right arm? Super groovy. I was a child. And I smoked all summer long. (You can gasp now.) My mom was a smoker. She had been smoking for decades. She always had a carton Continue Reading
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