“Now that’s old,” my sister Julie said as we chatted a few days ago in anticipation of our mom’s would-be birthday, September 1st. Would Have Been. It’s still hard to believe it’s been 10 years (on September 12th) since I lost my mom. Since five of us—Steve, Jim, Julie, Jennifer, and I—lost our mom. Although the pain, the grief, the intense FEELING OF IT ALL has passed, I still wish she Continue Reading
That Post Christmas Blah
Some years it hits me. Some years it does not. On December 26th. Or even sometimes RIGHT after the Christmas morning of fun and frenzy and children's delights are all over. Even though I don't believe in Santa Clause or any Christmas magic per se, I have realized my adult self still has this longing and expectation at Christmastime. That somehow a special fulfillment will arrive on Continue Reading
When Tears Are More Than Tears
Just as laughter can be rich-belly-laughter, so can tears come in a way that you know they are from deep within one’s soul. Kate had those kind of tears a few mornings ago. And I had to pull the minivan off the road just to hug her and hold her. We were on our way to drop Luke off at middle school. Which is always a feat to get the three of them out the door that early. Not more than a minute Continue Reading
Moses Makes Great Dinners In Heaven
Some years it hits me. Some years it does not. That post-Christmas blah. The let-down. On December 26th. Or even sometimes RIGHT after the Christmas morning of fun and frenzy and children’s delights are all over. Even though I don’t believe in Santa Clause or any Christmas magic per se, I have realized my adult self still has this longing and expectation at Christmastime. That somehow a Continue Reading
Still No Tears Over Sandyhook
I am surprised at my reaction to the Sandyhook tragedy. Or my lack of reaction, in terms of tears and sadness and heaviness. For anyone who knows me, I am a touchy-feely girl who cries at sappy commercials and gets choked up EASILY at others’ joys or woes. I FEEL. I LIKE TO FEEL. I go to movies that are contrived and emotional because I like to FEEL things. Last Friday I was in a meeting Continue Reading
I Avoid The Mother’s Day Aisles
I still miss my mother. It’s been 7 years and 7 months since she passed away from lung cancer. And I still. Miss. Her. I think of her when I buy new sheets and hear her voice in my head, saying “always buy high thread counts.” I think of her when I buy “half & half” creamer for coffee as a treat and how she poured this over our cereal growing up, like all good moms from Nebraska do. I Continue Reading