As we are now over the hump of summer, sliding sloooowly as possible toward the new school year, I hear myself saying the same phrases and sentences and requests to my children.
Here are some things I say, and some you say. Some of them OVER and OVER and OVER again:
1). Close the door. The mosquitos are coming in.
2). Who let the dog outside?
3). Find your flip flops, everyone is waiting in the car.
4). Please take shorter showers. We are in a drought, honey.
5). Don’t go out too far. (at the beach)
6). CLOSE THE FRIDGE.
7). Text me when you get to so and so’s house.
8). Did you sunblock? (Yes, it’s a verb.)
9). Look who forgot to sunblock today, ouch! I told you…
10). Get off electronics and go OUTSIDE, read a book, walk the dog, something!!
11). Sure, I’ll make you (my bottomless-pit-teenager) a 3rd snack.
12). Let’s stay in our pajamas today. (I have NOT said this enough.)
13). What shall we do from our Summer Bucket List today?
14). Rinse your feet before coming in please. (and then…)
15). Who got sand all over the bathroom?!?!?!? Grrrr!
16). CLOSE the fridge now. There is nothing amazing in there.
17). Have you brushed your teeth all summer?
18). Yes, you can have your friends over again.
19). Let’s watch another movie tonight.
20). The dog is barking outside at EVERYONE! Go get her!
21). Go the FREAK to bed!
22). The kitchen is closed.
23). Who left wet, sandy towels on the new wood floors?
24). Get OUT of the shower now! Or I’m taking your allowance!
25). The dog took your socks again. Remember to shut your bedroom door.
26). Get off your phone please. Or it may find a new home, like, in the Bahamas.
27). What would you like to eat for breakfast? OR– Did you eat any breakfast?
28). No video games till all chores are done.
29). Who wants to play a board game with me?
30). Sorry, Mommy gets motion sick and cannot go on rides. No amusement parks today. That’s Dad’s department.
TO MYSELF I MUMBLE: (sometimes with a tinge of snark)
31). I need more spoons and forks.
32). I should buy a million paper cups since they like to drink ALL DAY long and get NEW glasses out each time.
33). I wish I were 14 again and could sleep till noon, with not a care in the world.
34). Sure I can drive you anywhere, at anytime.
35). I’m not cooking today. I’m going on a strike. Let’s see how long they will last.
36). The sink is FULL AGAIN?! How is that freaking possible?!
37). I need a Mommy Break now. Maybe I’ll run away to a hotel overnight. BY MYSELF. So I can think intelligent thoughts again.