I am absolutely, positively, without a doubt, a “MORNING person.”
How I love to wake early before everyone and taste that euphoric first sip of Coffee Bean single serve coffee. I can smell it and taste it. Ahhhh….
And I love my Katie-Kate with her long, tousled hair and her pat-pat across the hard wood floors to me with her fuzzy blanket cocooning her. I know it’s her without even looking up from my cup and devotional book. My heart melts for her and my other morning-breath children.
It’s a brand new marvelous day.
God’s mercies are new every morning, and well, so are mine.
I’m the patient, sweet mom I want to be. I’m full of focus on them, and their morning nutrition and routines. I’m in love with them and in love with being a mom.
OF COURSE, there are those mornings that go all freaking wrong from the moment the alarm goes off. Or when we all oversleep. Or when some nameless child refuses, with the power of an elephant, to do anything remotely towards getting out the door for school.
But we won’t talk about that. We’re in rainbows and butterflies mode here about how I’m the mom I like/need/want to be in the morning.
And sometimes it is sheer torture for me. Or I am torturing them with Bad Parenting 101 Threats. And it’s just all amuck. It’s messy. It’s not fun. No one is listening. No one cares about the clock or that kids need 10-12 hours of sleep a night, so that they can grow up to be independent, responsible, amazing citizens of this world.
I’m not in love with them anymore. I don’t care who “needs” a bedtime snack (no one does…). And for the love of I don’t know what, please don’t choose bedtime to tantrum, fight with your siblings, start to build a fort, or pop out of bed, like a flea on a dog with endless energy unable to be caught.
I sometimes hate bedtimes.
Yes, I just said hate. Ok, strongly dislike.
I’m so tired. They are so tired. Hubby may or may not be around to help. I need a mommy break. I needed one by 7:30 pm but I hold on with claws till 9:30 pm when my oldest is usually turning out his lights. (What am I going to do when they ALL stay up later and later…?!)
Its just shocking and guilt-ifying (made that up) how I can go from AMAZING MOM to %@$&!!-MOM in just 12 hours.
I want a magical button to push for each child that makes them oh-so-perfectly-sleepy-and obedient. One push, and wa-la!! I kiss them, I tuck them in, I pray for them, and shut their doors. They are in dreamland. ALL night with no wake-ups. Done done done.
And then mommy is in her own dreamland, ready for couple time with the hubs, or relaxation time with tv or a good book, or tackle-a-project time.
And not a single sound or need comes from THAT SIDE of the house.
Not one teeny-weeny, solitary sound, till the sun comes up, and my bed-headed sweethearts with stinky breath come say hello to me.