But sometimes I forget He wants to speak to my heart at all.
I forget He cares deeply about what I care deeply about. And that He speaks in different ways. Then He does, and I am blown away. AGAIN.
Last Christmas break I took the kids to see, “We Bought a Zoo,” starring Matt Damon, and Scarlett Johannsen. The kids really wanted to see the movie. So I relented and off we went in search of buttery popcorn and good seats. We got there early so they did not miss anything.
I liked the movie, (and I even just ordered it), and some of the dramatic moments between the widowed father (Matt Damon) and his motherless, grieving son. The kids were disappointed in that there were not enough animals to see, not enough action, lots of “boring” dialogue. I was disappointed in Matt Damon’s hair, but that’s about it.
I love quotes and there was one in the movie that I particularly loved. Matt Damon’s character, Benjamin Mee, was giving his young son some good advice:
“You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally 20 seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it.”
Right then in the Palos Verdes movie theater we frequent, I felt THAT FEELING. From God. Like He was saying that quote to me, for me, loud and clear, undeniably.
How do I explain that?
It comes from a deep inside place of knowing, something I have experienced time and again. I know I sound like a crazy church lady. But I am willing to take that risk right now. I know that the Bible is clearly His main vehicle of communicating to us, but He also uses people, and circumstances and messages at church, and conversations with wise people, and well, Matt Damon.
Lets get back to that quote, and the moments after I heard it.
RIGHT AFTER Matt Damon said it, I heard, “Start your blog.” And in the “20 seconds” following that I declared silently, “YES, I WILL.” God was encouraging me to be brave enough, get some guts, and pursue my lifelong dream of being a WRITER. A really wise and soulful writer who will hopefully touch and inspire others forward in their lives. So….I committed to it, with courage, right then and there.
That night I told Chris that I was going to start my blog in 2012. That I was going to dedicate Monday mornings weekly to write, research, read others’ blogs, and study the business of blogging. (Who invented that word anyway?) Chris is my biggest fan and supporter, and always comes alongside my dreams, whispering confidence and love into my perfectionist, fearful self.
God speaks through my husband, too. And Chris is a LOT cuter than Matt Damon.